I CAME, I SAW, I BECAME A TIGER!


I CAME, I SAW, I BECAME A TIGER!

By Adeshola

Why all this excitement? Yesterday, I had the ‘maddest’ fun I have had in FOREVER! See ehn, I work hard, very hard, and I barely have any time to go out. Don’t roll your eyes at me o, the amount I make is staggering. But the problem is, you have money and no time to spend it. It’s sad but that has become the reality of my life.

My job has been frustrating me for a while. I was exhausted. Not ‘small-exhausted’ o. I mean the ‘I-am-so-tired-I-want-to-leave-my body-for-3 days exhausted’. I sat back in my chair at work and it just hit me that I hadn’t gone out in weeks, I hadn’t been on a date in 3 months and I hadn’t had sex in 4! I had become cranky and irritable in the past few weeks and you didn’t need a seer to tell you my problem.

I am not generally impulsive, but new levels of exhaustion can open up reflexes you didn’t know. I picked up my laptop, typed in my resignation letter and clicked send! What was the point of my life if I didn’t even understand the idea of living. My family travelled out (they will be gone for 2 years at the least) and I couldn’t even be at the airport to see them. I wasn’t at home the night before to say my goodbyes, either. The only person left in the house was my little brother who I was supposed to take care of. But, let’s be frank, I had barely seen him in the past week. What the heck kinda life is that?

Nonso, my boyfriend (or should I call him ex-fiancée, since we were engaged for all of 3 days) of 4 years flipped out on me and physically yanked off my engagement ring from my finger because he was mad. He was stark raving mad that day. And I have to admit, he had a good reason to be. I had missed his mother’s funeral because I was stuck on a late flight. I landed in the country a day after her burial. In my defence, there was a last minute meeting that I couldn’t stop and by the time it was done, there were no available flights. I did all I could, short of hiring a private jet. I will hate myself for that. Nonso was a truly incredible guy that I had pushed to the limit. The last thing he said to me, “Your job is going to kill you and the sad part is you will enjoy the death”.

So in retrospect, I don’t think the decision to quit was impulsive . It was a long time coming. I didn’t say a thing to anyone at work. I packed up the most important things -my junkfood, sensitive files, my pictures etc., and I was out of the office by 11am. Just like that… I went home to meet my brother. I found out he was already growing a beard! Little Fola was becoming a man and I had not notice.

As a courtesy, Mide, my best friend always tells me when she’s going to hang out or going to see a fun new place. She works in the media and she gets those invites a lot. She knows I will say no but she asks anyway. That afternoon, she gave me the usual call and told me that she was going for an event in VI, a beer brand was launching and she wanted to uncage something… (I was slightly distracted with the movie I was trying to watch in silent mode while she spoke.) A launch didn’t sound fun but it was going to beat staying at home. My little baby Fola took his girlfriend out for dinner and left me at home alone. I couldn’t stop laughing at the irony. I accepted the invite and stunned Mide.

Two hours later, I was Muri Okunola park, VI, on a Friday gawking unashamedly, at an 80 foot Tiger wall! Ok, let me pace myself and start from the beginning.

I got there after the launch itself and the party-fest was in FULL SWING! There was so much going on at once, that I stopped outside inhaled and stepped in. My chest was thudding with excitement. I’m a ‘vibe-person’ and all the vibes were ‘crazay’! The DJ need his own empire to run, because he was Boss. I felt so light. No worries, no appointments or weekend meeting schedules to worry my head over. I laughed like crazy and found Mide shouting into some guys ear. She was shocked to see me there. Apparently, I always said I was going to a lot of places with her and never showed up. I was laughing at her shocked look, till I looked around and saw a wall with people hanging on it. It was freaking ‘ginormous’! And like a zombie, I dumped my friend and walked to the wall in a trance. Am I allowed to say it was calling me without sounding like a looney? I didn’t hear what the instructor at the foot of the wall was saying. I wasn’t listening. I nodded and they put safety harnesses on me. Laughter jumped out of my chest. I was doing this!

And that was how I climbed that wall. I didn’t get half way through, but it was already exhilarating by the time I got to halfway to my stop point. I was shouting with every step I took. I don’t think I can explain how I felt. I forgot everything that had happened. By the time I had my feet back on ground, adrenalin was coursing through every part of my body. I was literally tingling. I grinned and headed for the food section. I was starving after the climb. And the food was… I need a moment to shed a tear. The food was great. Or maybe it’s the climb, because the lemon wings combined with the very cold Tiger beer was… okay, I think I just cried a little.

I was moaning at the taste of the food in my mind. I was sitting on a bench outside at night on a Friday evening. Beer in one hand and chicken in the other, eyes closed, face tilted towards the sky with the maddest music blasting around me. I opened my eyes and saw some dude looking at me in amusement. I must have been a sight. I was too happy to care to compose myself. I

went back to my food and beer. I needed to get married to both of them, Tiger and the chicken. I had flashes of me in a wedding gown. Surrounded by chicken wings and Tiger beers. That’s when the ‘uncage’ thing Mide was saying hit me. Tiger and uncaging… Aaaah. So,I started laughing like a crazy harpy. Laughing with tears oooo. I laughed and choked on my food. Thankfully, ‘amused guy’ helped me out by making me guzzle beer. Thank God he was watching amusedly.

We got talking with all the music (I wasn’t even embarrassed after the choking. I swear that the wall has powers). Seye was crazy funny and he was a looker! So Seye + Tiger + Lemon wings = Real uncaging o!

Mide and I got home that day and I couldn’t stop talking. She got tired of me and went to the living room to sleep. (Too bad she didn’t climb the wall) I was excited and couldn’t even sit in one place. I pulled out my laptop and the first thing that popped up was an error notification that my mail had not been sent. I sat back and actually thought about it quitting my job. I had a beer in my hand and I smiled. I put in the right email address and for the 2nd time that day, I quit my job. I picked up my phone and called Nonso. An hour after, I snuck out of my own house.

By the next morning, I was positively exhausted from everything. The problems I had the day before – no hanging out, no date, no sex – had varnished!

I don’t know when I am getting another job. I don’t even know if I want one anytime soon. All I know is I came, I saw, I became a freaking tiger! And I enjoyed every bit of it!

  • Shola Cole

The post I CAME, I SAW, I BECAME A TIGER! appeared first on Nigerian Entertainment Today.

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