After it became public knowledge that Banky W had slid into Nollywood actress, Adesua Etomi‘s DM and she had opened the door for him – even set a table in there for him – reports emerged that she was initially seeing another actor, Kunle Remi.
How do you review a Terry G album? Behind the cacophony of grunts, howls, screams, auto-tuned wails and stuttered phrases, is there something musically tangible to hold on to, evaluate, to admire?
Terry G’s latest album is titled Terry G’zuz. So into Terry G’s world I must go to make sense out of his songs which I jokingly created a new genre for ‘Ghetto Techno’.
The disc starts with the thumping ‘Change Am‘. This is typical Terry G with freestyle flow which doesn’t make sense but in the essence of making a record fits with the beat he created for the track. You don’t need Nostradamus for you to know this is a hit…as a matter of fact it already is. The Terry G virus is back in town I see.
On Akpako he tweaks the beat of the hit he made for Side One, ‘One by One‘ to create a bigger hit for himself. It’s the Terry G way, tried and trusted. I won’t lie, two tracks in I am already bored. I am drowning in the sea of Terry G’isms. The title of his album might point to messianic aspirations but right now he isn’t saving me or showing me the way.
Spirituality is a strong theme on the album with numerous tracks dedicated to the man above (Not For God featuring Timaya, God Guide Me) which will no doubt be one of the major reasons why the masses will gravitate towards the album.
There are songs however that reveal the inner musician in Terry however unpolished or crude like the Hip-Hop influenced ‘Rundown‘ feat (a rejuvenated) Faze and Dee Money which boasts of a chopped and screwed hook or the solemn worship-like ‘Ori Mi‘ featuring 9ice. ‘This Life‘ featuring Naeto C is another surprising cut.
Terry G’zuz is an album solely dedicated to its fan base and makes no apologies about it. His fans understand and most definitely go gaga over this LP.
At the end of my listening I discover that Terry G’zuz is like an abstract painting. You see brushes, strokes in different colours and tones all jumbled up, splashed and sprayed on a canvas. You don’t know what it is or represents but you admire it because of that. The beautiful mystery in the nothingness, that’s what best sums up Terry G’s new LP- the beautiful nothing.
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From that point on, up until the climax of the former’s union yesterday in Cape Town, South Africa, Kunle Remi has had to contend – quite masterfully I must say – with the “you lost your babe to that shinny head” remarks.
I decided to catch up with the dude this morning in my head and below is our conversation.
ME: Hi Kunle. Howdy?
KR: Apart from having to see images upon images of #BAAD2017? I’m fine.
ME: So, was it true that Adesua was dating you before Banky came along?
ME: And she left you for Banky?
ME: Why do you think she left?
KR: I don’t know.
ME: Was it because Banky is a bigger boy than you and all you do is form fine boy for Nollywood posters?
KR: You’re mad!
ME: I know. People also say you’re not even a good actor, that’s why you depend on opening your shirt at every opportunity you get. And that’s why she left you for someone who has got everything over you.
KR: What rubbish is this, TNS? Are you a fool?
ME: Yes. Do you know my surname?
KR: Why the fuck should I care?
ME: Because it answers your last three questions.
KR: I think you should fuck off and stop your pathetic attempt to troll. That’s why nobody likes TNS.
ME: I also hear, even though you wanted to go for the wedding, you couldn’t afford the aṣọ ẹbi. They said your matter would have been worse than Masterkraft’s if you attended.
KR: Why should I attend? When I am confident their marriage will end soon. Give it two years. Or is that not how celebrity marriages end these days?
ME: Are you asking me? Are you not supposed to be one of them? At least that’s what Instagram tells me.
KR: I am not married so please don’t ask me fucked up questions.
ME: So, you think Adesua will come back to you?
KR: I am confident she will. I am waiting for her.
If you believe this conversation happened anywhere apart from the writer’s head, there is an after-party planned for #BAAD2017 at Eko Hotel tonight. Everyone is invited.
The writer wishes Adesua Etomi & Banky W a blessed, fruitful and happy union.
This post was first published on TNS.ng.
The post IN MY HEAD: ‘Forget Their Lavish Wedding, Adesua Etomi Will Still Leave Banky W & Come Back To Me’ – Kunle Remi appeared first on Nigerian Entertainment Today – Nigeria’s Top Website for News, Gossip, Comedy, Videos, Blogs, Events, Weddings, Nollywood, Celebs, Scoop and Games.